Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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