Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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