i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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