My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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