I'm really into asian looking animals
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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