My friends, they love my intelligence
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
