The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
