Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
