yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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