I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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