I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
