great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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