Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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