Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize