pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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