I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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