You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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