Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
we should paint friendship bongs
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