I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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