I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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