He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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