The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
