Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
