What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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