I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
false alarm. still invincible.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Mom said you looked used
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
