i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
