he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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