I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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