If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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