Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
