Duck Duck Cougar?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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