a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
