ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
