I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
