Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
