I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
