dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
