she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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