I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
