you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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