2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
