Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
