And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I AM VODKA MAN
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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