She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
