So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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