My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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