another moral hangover. fuck.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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