Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
