I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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