Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
