Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
