Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just pee around me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
