i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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