They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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