glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
