well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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