Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
